Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
