I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize