i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
