i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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