On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
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