Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
