Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
There r osticjed everywhere
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
