were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
