This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
