Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
