like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
