she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize