i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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