My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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