Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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