Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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