Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
