He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
