im gay
i know
yea but for you.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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