marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize