I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
