And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
