yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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