Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize