I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
