he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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