You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize