I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
