The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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