Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
