Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
