4 words: hood of his car
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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