Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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