i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
