i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
