That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
