Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
