youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize