hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
