I heard we made out
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
