whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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