That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
