No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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