Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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