In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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