I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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