Need sex. Gaining weight.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
