Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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