youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
