I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
