He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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