We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
