I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
