I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
