apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
