why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You ruined the universe
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
