nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
