I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
