barbara walters just said penis...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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