Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
