i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize