Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
