I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
