Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
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