thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
