his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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