Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
