He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize