do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
