are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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