he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
