She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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