I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
