this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
