Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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