Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
